let me preface this by saying that i've had an crazy pair of weekends. there will be more posts to come, but right now i'm swamped with a paper and tech week for a show i'm running tech for, so i'm fucking busy.
Friday, 10:00 pm: I'm in upper Lewis residence hall driking nattie light. we're playing some card game i've never heard of. it's me, my man Charlie, and like 6 girls. sweet.
Friday, 11:30 pm: we decide to go out, but where? there's a party at the AD frat house, but the live band is done by now and it's supposed to have gotten kind of lame. We're headed to the off campus townhouses lovingly known as "milks."
Saturday, 12:45 am: New venue, same cheap beer. nattie light is nice because it's total crap. same with milks, they're nice because they're total crap and you can have huge parties in them. i see friends and enimies. one of my boys has been on the beer pong table for the past 11 games. i'm not even joking, he's an unbelievable drinking game player. he has just declared that he will play until he passes out. i'm not sure how that ended.
Saturday, 2:30 am: we've moved down 3 houses, and about 4 cents a beer. it's keystone light now, and we're having a dance party. There's a girl there i hooked up with a couple times last weekend (we'll call her "Beatrice" for the sake of the story because i don't want to use her real name and nobody is fucking named Beatrice anymore), and it was fun so i think to myself ok O'Neill, let's fucking do this. unfortunately, she is dancing with a soccer guy who believes they're dating. darn.
Saturday, 3:15 am: Beatrice and asshole soccer guy have left the building. i'm not really having a lot of fun, because at this point it's basically a bunch of people who have coupled up and are now making out on the dance floor, and me, awkwardly drinking keystone light.
Saturday, 3:30 am: O'Neill has left the building, and is making his way back to his dorm. (3rd person just sounded cooler this time, i'll be back to the 1st person in a second.)
Saturday, 3:40 am: I return to my room to find my roommate and 3 basketball players surrounded by boxes of pizza, debating which would be cooler to have, a giant beanstalk or a giant peach. stoners...
Saturday, 4:00 am: I'm finally asleep. In my own bed, all alone. (my roommate can bear witness to the fact that i'm alone at this point)
Saturday, 12:45 pm: having just come out of a wonderful dream, i wake up. the first thought that runs through my head is the following: "WHAT THE FUCK, BEATRICE IS IN MY BED!!!!" and it was true. Beatrice has, in the night, and without waking me up, come to my room (we live in different buildings), removed her shoes and coat, and gotten into bed with me. I had literally no idea how she had gotten there. she precedes to complain about how much of an asshole the soccer asshole is, and then try to make small talk. I was confused. in addition to trying to figure out why she decided it was appropriate to climb into bed with me, i was trying to figure out the following (and i want you to respond in comments to my blog): the morning after sex, when you've spent the night, it is a good idea to cuddle. however, nothing happened between the two of us... do we cuddle? tell me what you think.
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7 comments:
of course you cuddle with her
im not sure if its taboo to have female input on this page but i just have to say that there is a girl here who changed her name from rachel to beatrice. that is all.
oh, actually clearly a peach because it tastes much better then beans. also cool insects are much more appealing then scary giants.
much love.
laduenadedanktank
Its not a matter of whether you cuddle after nothing happened. Make something happen, then cuddle.
cuddle. always.
ps, i agree that peaches are far superior to beans.
pps. i am posting as "anonimo" because i forget how to use my PopLocknSTOUCKit thing.
-Dani
fuck soccer guys
to address the peaches/beanstalk thing, the peach is yummy, and beans suck, but the beach is huge, and has bugs in it, so it's gonna go bad before you get to enjoy much of it. the beanstalk leads up to a magical kingdom in the clouds, but the problem is that it involves a shit ton of climbing. the real issue here is how much money you can make off it. you could plant the seeds from either plant and create a farm of huge peaches or huge beans. if it's a soy plant, you'd really cash out. on a side note: would the peach fuzz on a huge peach still be fuzz or would the hairs be giant too making it more like peach rope?
First of all, this Beatrice character seems very strange. I hope this ain't some creepy stalker bullshit. But if it's all legit, cuddle - I guess.
More importantly, I think you were missing the larger point of the peach vs beanstalk debate. Its really a transcendental discussion between the merits of James and Jack, respectivley. So, I think I'd have to say the beanstalk. After all, Jack lives in the minds of many and evolves with time. Poor old James, however, is frozen in time, stuck on the pages of one single book by our man, Roald Dahl. Ya dig?
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