Fuck Greenpeace

Nick I feel you, but it is never a good idea to fight while inebriated. Let me rephrase that; it’s never a good idea to attempt to fight when inebriated.

We were walking back from a club on Saturday night when of course we run into a group of French guys.

Let me interject something here: I have come to the conclusion that all groups of French guys suck. They suck because they are sexually frustrated living in a culture that is all about dating. By day the streets are filled with couples walking to and fro and by night all those boys left out—because they fucking suck—are free to cat call and start shit. They have nothing else to do. Of course the American girls have not realized this and so still respond to these desperate attempts by prides of losers.

So the French guys yell something profane at one of our party, who I will call Valentine, and her friend, by the name of Dana, started screaming in French at the fucktards. I had no idea what was going on, not speaking the language.

Both the Americans and the French tried their best to use the other’s language to insult them so the encounter went a lot like this:

“Vous est un Connard!”
“Fuck to you Batch!”

But then the boys came across the street and started to get physical with the girls. Not. Fucking. Cool.

After that I don’t remember exactly what happened. There was some shoving, but nothing too bad. My roommate and I were fucking pissed off though.

And I decided to take it out on the next asshole that looked at me sideways. We continued walking and some motherfucker decided to test me. We’ll I let him have it.

I woke up the next morning and my hand hurt. A lot.

I had fought a tree.

Cross that off the list of things to do before I die.