dick brothers

Well I'm a little rusty after my year-and-a-half long hiatus, but here goes nothing. I think the first thing I need to do is give a little back story. My best friend and body double, we'll call him Jim, broke up with his girlfriend a few months ago. It was messy, but after a while it was time for him to get back into the game. So he hooked up with this girl. The next morning we're all sitting upstairs in our living room, and we hear Jim come out of his room, come upstairs, and ask if he can borrow my other room mate's car. He's told no, and decides to make a better case as to why it is so necessary. "I need to go to Walmart to buy the morning after pill." Apparently during the course of what was described as "sloppy, yet strangely hot, animalistic sex," the condom got lost. So he got the car, went, and that was that.

Fast forward several weeks. I've been broken up with, and I'm recovering. Spring is in the air, and beer is in my system. We were having a rager. My home girl from... well... home... was visiting to come party with us, and it was all around crazy times. By half way through the night there were about 120 people in our upstairs that, on a crowded night, can accommodate roughly 70. There were literally people sitting on top of my roommates closet. By the end of the night, there was a kid passed out on the couch while the music blasted and me and a girl were bumpin and grindin on the dance floor... alone. My roommates and some friends were smoking downstairs so I went down to say hey. I took a hit, then confessed to my roommate that I thought I would end up making out with this girl. I was right. we went back upstairs and made out for a long time.

Now the thing about this girl is that she's VERY ticklish. So much so that she cannot involve herself in foreplay. She goes right from making out to sex. It blew my fucking mind. So that's what we did. In the living room. Next to the kid passed out on the couch. Then that got weird because there was a sleeping kid, so we moved it down to an equally classless location: the bathroom. I can't say it was my finest moment, but everyone involved had fun. Me and Jim were now officially dick brothers.

This was last weekend. This weekend, last night, we ran into each other again, and, again, she astonished me with how quickly she went right for sex. But I'm a generous guy, and I can't say no if someone wants something that I can provide, so we did our thing. only, when our thing was done, we discovered that whatever we were doing (and Jim's description is pretty accurate) had blown a huge hole in the top of the condom. Uh Oh.

So I went upstairs and had to ask my roommate for his car. He said no. I explained that I needed to go to Walmart to buy some plan B. And he had a pretty good laugh at my (and this girl's) expense. The weirdest part to me is that this girl wouldn't let me pay for it, or even help.

Now that's what I call a rebound worthy of taking place during the NBA Playoffs.