So I was walking back from class the yesterday of yesterday when all of a sudden my roommate and I happened upon a promising looking sign. We have been enjoying France quite a bit but still feel the pangs of longing for the good ‘ol USA that are bound to happen to any blue-blooded football fan (real football not ‘futbol’), so we had to do a double take when we saw that sweet sweet triangle of red cups. We were amazed to discover that Wednesday night is beer pong night at the local disco, IPN. It lasts from 21:00 to 24:00, all the beer is free if you’re playing and it is only 10 Euro to get on rotation. “Sweet!” exclaimed Zach and Mike.
So we show up ready to play and what do we find? Fucking French dudes, and girls. Now I do indeed enjoy chillin with the ladies, and the French aren’t all bad (they have great healthcare) but the combination of the two attempting to play pong was just ridiculous. RIDICULOUS.
Girls who were just standing around spectator-ing would move cups which were in play (IN FUCKING PLAY), Frenchies constantly had elbows—if not entire arms and torsos—over the tables (which were too short) and games took fucking forever because dudes would walk away to go talk to people or make a phone call. Frankly I never realized how serious Americans take their pong until I saw how everyone else is.
Naturally Zach and I were bound by honor to wipe the fucking floor (which was fucking filthy) with these fools and we did (my bounces are getting pretty nasty).
The worst insult of the night definitely came around 1 am when my cherished red cup was demanded by one of the bartenders. “What the fuck are you talking about Pier?” I calmly asked. “We import the cups and need to use them again next week.” He violently explained.
I guess I will have to wait until next Wednesday for my beloved taste of America in the form of a red plastic cup.
America, Fuck Yeah!
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