my most recent saturday night

let me set the scene. it's saturday night, kind of chilly, and i'm ready to start partying. I'm hanging out with my boy justin and some of the kids from his hall. we get the pregame started with everyone's favorite plastic-bottled $15 vodka, Popov. it's gross, but thats how we like it. we're all where we want to be mentally, and we're enjoying youtube videos. then we get the call. pregame number two. "would you like to join me in my room for some vodka?" yeah we would. we head to another room in a different building. their vodka is nicer. i've still never heard of it before, but at least they had the self respect to get something that comes in a glass bottle. awesome. then finally we head out to the Psi U frat lodge. it's not a great party. Psi U is the "Laxers" frat, and they're an odd bunch. they were (and i'm not kidding, this is serious what i'm about to say) drinking live goldfish. I dont understand the thrill. so i get a cup and get in line for the keg. i dont "lax it up" and i dont have tits so i didnt get served for a while, and then when i did get my cup, it was only half full. what shit. so i get back in line. this time the dude takes my cup, fills it up all the way, and walks off drinking it himself. that was fucked. I'm ready to leave after i use the bathroom. I'm ditching the kids i came with to go back to the room of this girl i know (i'll be posting another story involving her later, it's good. get pumped.) with her and her friend. the plan was to just hang out, as neither of them were really feeling the vibes that night. we get back and one goes to bed, so i chill with the other for a while. she's ready for sleep after a while but i'm sooooo not. I'm starting to sober up. (by this i mean i'm not shitfaced wasted anymore, just pretty drunk) I give my man justin a call. he's been on the move too, and is now at his friends house playing beer pong. I roll over there. he's there with this girl he's been hooking up with, who i met at beachweek (although i dont really remember that) and is from my home town. she doesnt really know anyone there, and proposes she and i go inside and drink more. hells yeah. it is at this time that i decide i'm on a mission. I'm gonna black out. so we hit the tequilla, malibu (for her) and amaretto. at this time i'm craving some mac and cheese, so i go back to my room. the last events i remember are the following: i'm walking down my hall, i see a pile of empty pizza boxes by the trash cans. in a display of complete lack of judgement i decide to rummage through them and eat the leftover crusts. gross. my hall-mate opens the door, looks down on this disgrace of a person, and says "what the fuck are you doing?" i reply "looking for pizza" or something like that. she says "we have literally an entire pizza in here!" thats the last i remember of it. I cannot attest to this but apperently the night ended with me, in my underwear, having a staring contest with a picture of a tiki mask in the hall, getting pissed off that it's winning, and karate chopping it off the wall. holy fucking shit, what a night.