It's Been Awhile...

My shit's been busy this semester. I'm only three weeks in and I've already landed a job at the library, found a recording studio on campus, and gotten entirely too fucked up while partying with a murderer (expect a blog post about this soon) all while contemplatinng the various ironies of college life. But now I'm here to tell you about my latest accomplishment: today, I made a bong out of bamboo.

It started earlier in the week. It was a sunny day, around noon. I had just gotten out of class and I was sitting on the porch drinking my last beer and talking to my girlfriend. The clumsy dumbass that I am I managed to drop my phone mid-conversation off the side of the porch. Luckily, I was on the first floor so I just hopped the rail and landed in a patch of Ivy under a tree. Lying in the Ivy under the tree were three dead bamboo branches of varying sizes. I picked them up and put them on the porch, and after I finished talking to her I brought them inside.

My roommate was asleep when I went in the room, so i repeatedly poked him gently in the side until he woke up.

"What the fuck is this?" he said.
"Fuckin' bamboo," I replied.

My intentions were to cut each of the sections and make bongs out of them so me and my friends would each have bamboo bongs. Well I toyed with the idea with some of the guys on the hall.

Yesterday is when we seroiusly got to work on manual labor of the production of the bong. We got a pocket knife saw and cut some of the branches down to appropriate sizes. So we found a good sized branch and cut through one of the barriers separating the sections of it. After some debate, we decided that we'd take the bowl and stem from an old piece of mine ("Woody" if anyone was familiar). The piece could be unscrewed and disassembled into various parts and we assembled it into a straight piece (this may confuse people becuase the structural properties of this bowl are similar to Optimus Prime, but we didn't use Optimus). So with a screwdriver and a knife we put a hole in the side inserted the piece (to which we modified by adding a stem from a mechanical pencil to make it longer) turned it at an angle and sealed it with poster gum. A little higher up and 90 degrees away from the bowl we put a smaller hole for the shotgun. Cool stuff huh?

I think we're gonna christen it tonight. I feel pretty innovative.

Any ideas for names?