Partying With a Murderer

So, second weekend of school this semester, I partied with a murderer.

Saturday night WM plays Old Dominion in basketball. At the time we were on a 6 game winning streak that started with ODU, so we definitely didn't want it to end with ODU. The game was at 7, naturally we started drinking at 6. Pregamed, punished a 40 and some whiskey, went to the game, went nuts, trash talked the other team, WM lost, what else is new...

It was pretty sad after the game because it was pretty close, so me and my friends who i pregamed with decided to drink our sorrows away. So that was fine, we chilled, punished more beer, 40s, and whiskey, when my roommate rolls into the room inviting us to go with him to his frat brother's apartment off-campus. Last time i was there it was pretty chill so I was excited.

So after getting our shit together and arranging rides we get there and theres pong going already in the front, hookah in the living room, various bottles of beer and absinthe in the kitchen. I was already pretty hammered by the time I got there so I signed up for pong, took a seat, and took it easy.

So i get up for pong and about 2/3 into the game someone comes in from outside and says to the host "yo, your neighbor wants to talk to you." Just before the door closes i catch a glimpse of a short, stocky black man smiling back at me. I gave it no thought and continued my game. It was falling to shit, it was past the re-rack and there were only like two cups left and it was just getting tedious. My partner was so drunk she had to lean against a wall for support and I knew that this shit had to finish up quickly.

So evreyone got wasted. Well somehow in the drunken haze, the black neighbor of the host of the party was at the party! His name was Tony and he was fuckin creepy from the start. He tried his best to understand the game of pong but ended up just throwing the balls into his own cups so he could drink. He made all the girls uncomfortable with the way he'd touch their stomachs and engage in conversations with them about pregnancy all while calling them sexy. He brought us a pizza he made that was practically bread with melted american cheese on top. He poured out libations on the table to his friends who are in prison or have died. He told everyone in the party that they had to refer to my roommate as "original" and anyone who didn't would get a bullet in their head. He mocked one of my friends saying "whats up dude" in the best surfer vernacular he could muster. Once my friends started smoking weed, he asked "where the weed at?," smoked their bowl with them, and referred to weed as "gold" after that.

Did I mention his tattoos? You know that saying used to describe situations where everyone in the room is aware of an uncomfortable topic that should be addressed but no one wants to speak up and say anything about? The one about the awkward elephant in the room? Well the elephant in this room was the size of a teardrop...the teardrop tattooed under Tony's eye. That scared everyone shitless. We all knew what it meant and the whole time he was around people were whispering shit into each other's ears like "yo...if shit hits the fan, im running out the back and taking you with me."

Well, we were all weirded out by him and we bounced like Tigger. I got back to the dorm, threw up, and went to sleep.