FN4N (it's worth the read)

Friday Night Forty Night.
This past friday night was friday night forty night, which is exactly what it sounds like, but let me start with the beginning...

It's friday, I've just gotten out of work early to take my friend to the airport. He's going to try out for Team USA in the under 19 section of the world championships of Ultimate. that's fucking cool. anyway, myself and Justin drive down to drop him off, we get him to the airport, and we came back. The drive wasn't that exciting, except i got to see a 35 year old get carded for a box of cigarettes. That was kind of funny.

We get back and the dining hall is closed, so we go to a bar to get some quesadillas. So we're munching on some dillas and we get a call. do we want to go bowling with some seniors we're friends with? FUCK YES!!! and off we go. They've already taken a cab, so we're driving. Justin took one for the team and stayed sober because we rock out safely. I, on the other hand, drank the whole way there in the car, as well as during bowling, which justin and I won with an embarrassing 110. It was a good time. I met arguably the flyest man in the world, who was visiting his friend and my friend (the same person). What's great is that he's fly as shit AND nice and outgoing, so he wasn't intimidatingly fly, he was just a really outgoing baller. it was great. anyway, so the end of bowling comes and people are turning in their shoes. Now, I've always wanted bowling shoes, but bowling alleys usually make you switch them for your shoes, holding your shoes hostage until you bring back their shoes. This place was different. all you had to do was make it past the front desk without returning your shoes, and out through a long hallway. I saw my opportunity when all my friends were returning theirs. I kept my bowling shoes on, and put my birkenstock clogs on over them. it didn't fit, and i had to kind of shuffle, but I just pretended i was really really drunk and people ignored the awkward way i was staggering out of the place. Then all 7 of us got in the car, which is a small volvo. I was in shotgun on my friends lap, and one person was literally closed in the trunk. We got back around 11, and it was time for the best party I've ever been to: Friday Night Forty Night.

I got there and, obviously, got a forty and got to business. We were in a house with a giant living room, a dining room, a kitchen and a large balcony out into the back yard. The several boxes of forties were kept on the balcony, so when i went back in to mingle and drink, i ended up in the dining room. Remember in the beginning of the year, the girl whose computer i accidentally smashed? yeah well i was standing with justin next to her and her friend (a girl who hits on justin a lot) and so they were talking and i was talking to a few of my girlfriends friends on the other side of me. I hear tho (because she's shouting because she's drunk) the girl whose computer i smashed talking to my friend. what she was saying was "see O'Neill? he's the boy who smashed my computer." Justin started making fun of me and i had to come to my own defense and thats how we got to talking. She admitted to me that she wanted to hook up with me. Wonderful. She also forgave me! so I'm in the clear for that officially. O'Neill: 1, Computer: 0. Later in the night i found out that my friend Charlie's girl-he's-hooking-up-with, Anna, is actually a somewhat distant cousin of mine! Cool! I went outside to pee, and thats the last I remember until DKE division. All I remember is walking away as Justin comes painfully close to getting into a fight with one of them because Charlie was doing pledge related events, and we were there with Anna, who wanted to find charley. Then, I remember throwing up on the way from charlie's room to my own room. The following is what I found out later.

Outside peeing, I called my girlfriend, we spoke for about a half an hour. Then I went back inside to find justin and anna. Anna must have told me she wanted to find charlie, or maybe i just assumed she wanted to. Anyway, justin anna and I went up to DKE division where we assumed Charlie was partying because he's a pledge. On the way there I couldn't shut up about my girlfriend, to the point that it was somewhat annoying. We get up there and we can't find anyone. we see 2 DKEs and demand that they "Tell us where the FUCK Charlie is." it came off as more hostile than it should have, we just wanted to get him some poontang. Justin was telling them that "We just wanna help Charlie out!" and doing the international sign for a blowjob. The DKEs took this to mean help him get away from them, and though justin was calling them cock suckers. This HUGE miscommunication almost got his ass beat, but luckily another DKE who loves justin showed up and cleared things up. Anna and I were still on a mission to find Charlie, and decided that he has to come back to his bed, so we should wait for him in his bed. We got there and passed out. So charlie comes back from a rough night of pledging, high out of his mind, to find his friend and the girl he's been consistently hooking up with sleeping in his bed. it took some explaining. So that's what several beers and 80 oz of malt liquor will do to you. I had one hell of a night.

High Tide Part 3: Action After the Action

Third place but no trophy? that's bullshit. We needed to return to school feeling but also looking like champs. We needed a trophy. We had a keg, which was a start, but we couldn't keep it, so instead of it being our trophy, it allowed us to get it. We got wasted, but needed something to do, so we went to some Michigan State Girls Team party, thinking it sounded tight. It was NOT tight. Apperently every dude within a 46 mile radius also had heard about this party, and also thought it sounded tight. So it was a bigtime sausage fest, and nobody had anything to drink. We decided this is where we would find our trophy. My friend suggested we steal something. It sounded at the time like a good idea. He reached over to the martini clock that was hanging on the wall, removed it, and walked out of the party. A Martini Clock: like Georgetown University, a martini clock is cool in concept, but kinda lame in practice. We wanted something more bad ass. We ended up with a touristy license plate, a wind up crab toy, the clock, and the big cheese, an old steering wheel from a boat. While I never actually removed anything from the house, i was just as excited about their plunder. We decided that with the cops outside circling the block, and an arsenal of stolen goods, it was the perfect time to leave. off we went. On the way back, the drunker of my friends stole a flag off someone's house, and the second drunkest stole a life saver tube. We had a shit ton of different shit. We had our trophy. We had victory.

High Tide Part 2: The Action

So there we were, an unlikely story of a tiny liberal arts college who came down to compete against D1 universities many times our size. But first: the hat tournament. the hat tourney was fun. every team was split up, given shirts of various different colors, and assigned to a team of people who were wearing the same shirt. It was a day for goofing off and meeting new people and getting drunk. One man was dressed (surprisingly accurately) as a pirate. Another man, a team member, introduced himself as Skywalker. I still don't know his real name. Anyway, the hat tournament came and went, and now it was time for pool play. We swept the first day, and the second day we lost only to Lehigh University (they later went to win the tourney). we did pretty well for ourselves, ending a 32 game winning streak which is not a lot to complain about. The last day was the bracket. We started off against holy cross, which turned out to be skywalker's team. After beating them, we went up against Georgetown.

Now, I'm just gonna put this out there, and you can take it or leave it, but Georgetown is an interesting case of schools. The idea of Georgetown is great, but in practice, not so much. What i mean by that is this: as a concept, a university, great at basketball, in my home city, located in a prime spot, if you ignore the fact that there's no metro stop. That seems like a great concept. the problem is the students... they just take themselves too seriously for me. The name of their frisbee team was catholic justice, and they all had temporary tattoos on their faces to make themselves look badass. It just made them look lame. One of them tried to fight one of us over a line call. our player thought he was in, someone else thought he was out, they argued a lot about it, this asshole tried to fight my friend who just laughed at him, we re-did the play for his sake, and we still scored. After that we played and lost to UVA, who went on to lose to Lehigh. It was fine, we got third place in the tournament, and we had a great time.

From our standpoint it was a victory.... Almost...
there was only one thing left to do.......................

An Arrangement of Atrophious Anecdotes

Just a couple quick things. I told Cyndi this one already, but here goes...

So, back in the day when we were all shopping for colleges still, Cyndi got back from visiting Oberlin and described how the students would smoke their weed in broad daylights on the lawns while professors walked by in close vicinity. Well, I became one of those kids the other day. Friday afternoon, I just got back from working out and my friends just finished rolling a blunt so I joined them. We went outside, spread out a blanket, and smoked on the lawn in front of our building while professors and parents strolled by.

Second thing, I wore my Dispatch: Zimbabwe shirt to my drum lesson the other day. My drum teacher noticed it, "Dispatch huh? they're playing Madison Square now? I know those guys." Apparently he played with them back in the day. You meet some chillass people in college man...

High Tide Part 1: Action Before the Action

We left school around 9 on Saturday morning, a ragtag Ultimate Frisbee team from a small D3 school. Our destination: Savannah, GA. We were making the 14 hour drive in a 12 seater van, a minivan, and someone's car down to Savannah to play in an Ultimate Frisbee tournament called High Tide. So we're on our way down to Savannah for 14 hours and pretty much going nutso. anything to entertain us is huge, for example, we stopped at KFC for lunch, and we all got bouncy balls and spend 45 minutes bouncing them around a parking lot (as it turns out the stores who's parking lot it was didn't really appreciate it and two different managers came out at the same time and tag team kicked us out). Around 9 we started getting worried. not because we were still in South Carolina and had who knows how many more hours, but because of a question that was looming over us... when we get to Tybee Island (the island we were on), will the liquor store be open? Nobody knew so, to avoid disaster, we went to WalMart and bought 10 or 12 cases of miller highlife, which is truly the champagne of beers and went on our way.

When we got to our condo on Tybee Island, after a solid 14 hours, all hell broke loose... in a good way. There were 22 of us, and the condo slept ten, which sounds shitty but is pretty good. We go in and see a sweet pad. big kitchen, big living room, master bedroom, 2 bedrooms upstairs, then we go downstairs. thats where the really cool shit was. it was an unfinished basement, with about 7 matresses just waiting for us (we didn't ask for them) as well as a pingpong table which we promptly ripped the net off of and started playing beer pong, and some 4x8 foot pieces of plywood, which we promptly put on chairs and started playing beer pong on. out the back was a huge charcoal grill and a HOT TUB!!!

We all got crunk.

The next day we had all to ourselves. we went to the beach and threw a frisbee around, and then came home. This is where it gets amazing. Tom Brown, a member of my team. was on the table playing beer pong with Rob Long. they had been on the table for 12 straight games. so my friend and I challenged them and lost. Rob quit after a while, but not tom. nope. tom stayed on the table for 17 straight games. AMAZING!!! I went out to the hot tub to spend a nice night out there. after Tom's 17th straight game, he had nobody left to beat, so he did what felt normal to him and looked odd to everyone else. he walked out into the back yard, across the yard from where i was in the hot tub, and lay down in the bushes. we asked if he was ok and he said yes so we figured we'd keep an eye on him. after about 5 minutes sleeping in the bushes he gets up, takes a few steps, and boots what must have been about a case and a half worth of beer. it was amazing. I've never seen so much beer come out of someone before. we had begun drinking that day around noon, and were all shitfaced by about midnight, so in the wee hours of the morning, we went to bed and got ready for a week of Ultimate.